جب آپ تحریر پڑھیں گے میں جاچکا ہوں گا۔ میں دو ہفتوں کی چھٹیوں پرجارہا ہوں ۔ یہ آپ کو میری آخری تحریر ہے ان چھٹیوں کے دوران میں آپ سب کو بھلادوں گا اس جانب یہ پہلا قدم ہے۔ ایک ساٹھ سالہ بوڑھا اب تھک گیا ہے۔ اور میں یہ چھٹیاں ایک نئ زندگی اور اس زندگی کے درمیان ایک وقفہ پیدا کرنے کے لیے استعمال کرنا چاہتا ہوں۔ میں ساحل سمندر پر اس بارے میں سوچوں گا کے میں نے یہاں میں کیا پایا اور کیا کھویا۔ اور اسے سمندر کی ریت پر لکھ کر لہریں سے کہوں گا کے اسے مٹادے۔ میں سوچوں گا میرے اس اعتقاد و یقین کہ " بہن کی محبت دنیا کی تمام محبت سے بلند ہوتی ہے " میں کیا نقص تھا ۔ اور اسے سمندر کی ریت پر لکھ کر لہروں سے کہوں گا کےاسے مٹادے۔ میں سوچوں گا کہ میں اپنی تخلیقی بہن " سادیہ" کو پانے میں کہاں تک پہنچا ۔ اور وہ حقیقت کیوں نہیں بنی ۔ اور اسے سمندر کی ریت پر لکھ کر لہروں سے کہوں گا کے اسے مٹادے۔ میں سوچوں گا کہ ایک " گھٹیا لفظ" کی طاقت مدتوں کے پیار ، محبت ، شفقت اور رشتہ سے زیادہ طاقتور کیوں ہوتی ہے اور اسے سمندر کی ریت پر لکھ کر لہروں سے کہوں گا کے اسے مٹادے۔ میں سوچوں گا ایک عورت یا ایک سیہلی کا ناطہ ایک بہن کے ناطہ سے زیادہ بلند کیوں ہوتا ہے ۔ اور اسے سمندر کی ریت پر لکھ کر پر لہرویں سے کہوں گا کے اسے مٹادے۔ میں یہ سوچوں کہ ایک بہن نے کیوں کہا تھا " چاہیے میں خود دکھی ہوجاوں مگر میں آپ کو آج کے بعد کبھی دکھی نہیں ہونے دوں گی" اس محبت میں بال کیسے آگیا۔ اسے " گھٹیا لہر" نے کیسے بہا دیا۔ اور میں اس کو بھی کو سمندر کی ریت پر لکھ کر پر لہریں سے کہوں گا کے اسے مٹادے۔ میں یہ سوچوں گا میری تمام زندگی بھر کا حصول میرا علم ،میرا نام ، میری تحریریں ، میرا پیار اور میری سرپرستی سب کو ایک " گھٹیا لہر" نے کیسے بہا دیا اور میں اس کو بھی کو سمندر کی ریت پر لکھ کر پر لہریں سے کہوں گا کے اسے مٹادے۔ پھر میں کپڑے اتار کر اس سورج کی کرنوں میں سمندر میں غسل کروں گا۔ وہ سمندر جو میرا ہمیشہ دوست تھا، ہے اور رہے گا ۔ وہ مجھے اپنا پیار، خلوص اور محبت دے گا۔ میں غلاضتوں سے پاک ایک نیا انسان ہوں گا۔ دانشکدہِ تفسیر میری نشت ہوگی اور میں " القلم" سے لکھوں گا اور کسی کو یاد نہیں رہے گا کہ تفسیر کون تھا اور اس کی راکھ سے سیدتفسیراحمد پیدا ہوگا جو اردو کی نشوونما میں جادواں ہوگا ۔ لاس انجیلس کیلی فورنیا To Admin Urdu Mehfil Nabeel Naqvi, Zakeria Ajmal, Mawra Husain, Mansoor Qesrani Mr. Shamshad Subject: Urdu Forum Actions Rules Reference: Tafseer Ladies and Gentlemen Facts: Who am I I was a member of Urdu Mehfil from March 2006. I was invited to be a member of Urdu Mehfil which opened its door July 2005. Before joining Mehfil my writing were limited to Adabi forums except one or two discussion forms. I was an established writer with a book or two and number of short stories. I was well established writer under my real name Tafseer After joining Urdu Mehfil I contributed extensive in areas related to Urdu Adab It was design to promote Urdu Mehfil as a place of literature. Till I joined a very small amount of work was done in literary area Urdu Mehfil excel in technical tool of Urdu, preservation of old work etc. I have 3085 postings. Roughly 2000 of those are Takhliqee, Maloomaatii and Instructional Remaining posting are conversations to other members Most of my work is unique. Possibly no one has attempted such a daring task in "discussion groups" on the levels I did. A book on Ilm-e-Urooz, an adventure novel with 26 variations, an on line class in shairy, a class in Arabic language, translation of Internet Protocols and Tashree-e-Diwan-e-Galib are few to mention. Last year I become a patron of Urdu Mehfil and contributed $200 dollars to Urdu Mehfil. Highest signal donation by any contributing member who is not owner of Mehfi I was a respected and favorite member of all most to all Urdu Mehfil members. Bhaiyaa name was synonymous with Tafseer. I am patron for little girls and boy’s school in one of the Afghani refugee camp in Peshawar and a school for migrant children from inner country whom parents come to Karachi looking for jobs. I am cofounder of a chapter of Global Exchange, an international organization, that promotes human values and promote understanding among people of different countries, a well documented fact in Shagutfa’s thread and in pictures section. My writings are read by care taker of these schools and organization and my literary friends outside of here among others What went wrong When I attempted to log on three month ago following message appeared “due to Ghatiyaa Language you are BANNED for 90 days”. On initial contact and request a header with an IP address was provided to me . My response was of anger and I said I will not come back Few days later I was browsing through Mehfil and saw a BANNED sign next to Tafseer and his writings. All of them. This was the fast way to destroy a writer I wrote to Mawra that “I am ashamed of what I have wrote to the one I loved most among all of you and considered my own little girl. It will haunt me forever. This is an unthinkable act and there is no pardon for it. Please tell her Bhaiyaa knows he committed an unthinkable act and is ashamed for it. Please wait a year or two, so it makes sense to her I wrote to Urdu Mehfil Admins and express my shame and sorrow and ask for mercy. I use my real name and my writings are associated with them. I said, “ It was enough, and people who need to know in Mehfil that I am BANNED, by now know it now. Please remove it as I do not wish it to be seen by rest of internet audience”. I went on my knees. Please close my account and hide it. I specifically ask to reptly .I have never felt so cheap. I said every one commit in there lif time something very bad and this was mine. No mercy shown .No response and word BANNED remain on Urdu Mehfil for 90 days Flaws in Urdu Mehfil Code of Conduct – Procedural, legal and moral flaws Urdu Mehfils Solution was For Accuse Humiliating – lock the account and let accuser found by himself Infuriating – to lock account for an extended period using a weak reason without justifying to accuser for the purpose of locking account – an out side email abuse may not fall in the jurisdiction of Forum Lost of Rights – Took away a member’s right to defend himself against a accuser De-humanizing- By hanging a “BANNED” sign on the name and writings brings a well respected member to dirt in front of his peers U]Defaming and Slandering[/U] – A well respected author’s 3085 writing bearing a word ‘BANNED”. Not clear who is banned an author, his writing, an account or all of them. What is the Impression another observing member draw from it? Demoralization: I felt that I have committed Adam’s Sin Highest possible time Displaying BANNED for first time infriction No attempt for a negotiated settlement - A negotiated settlement could have reached, only if you had considered me a human being. For Accuser: Reduce protection: by infuriating accused, reduced the protection for accuser. An infuriating person can retaliate and cause more harm to accuser. Mehfil should care that by their actions they may put a member in a harms way outside of Mehfil Daring: Made accusing member more daring to test out his/her capability to bar individual/or individuals A better Solution Dear Mr. Tafseer Ahmad. We have received a complaint against you from one of our member, she claims that you have written an abuse email to her. This is a cause of alarm to us. We at Mehfil sensitive to these issues as we look after all our member’s well being Due to severity of matter we have placed your account on “non-active” list. You will not have access to Urdu Mehfil till such time that this matter is resolved and an appropriate action has been taken and executed Our initial investigation reveals that the information provided to us is most likely correct. We would like you to review complain against you and provide your input in this investigation so that we can make an informed decision. If we conclude that you have violated Mehfil code of conduct, an appropriate action will be taken. The severity of you violation will determine the outcome. We will take an appropriate action Action may amount to taking you right to enter Urdu Mehfil for limited time or remove you rights to be in Urdu Mehfil permanently. You can present your information to Admin Urdu Mehfil at following email address We have made no decisions. De-activating your account is pre-cautionary step. You are our member too and not only that but a respected one, this matter has to be resolved quickly so we can reinstate you as early as possible. No response will keep account locked. With best regards Admin Urdu Mehfil This Simple letter would have done following: Protection - deactivating account – precaution from further abuse of member within Mehfil Fairness doctrine - Allow accused to defend him self Impartiality - Decision based on both sides presentation. Graceful exit – If accuse does not contest. He can leave gracefully Would I have come back, if you would have followed my solution? These solutions should be applied regardless of whether a member comes back or not These are human values My reason to leave was settled even before this incident occurred Result: Some one will say why write now, will it not show how low you were. It does and I accept my faults . In my own thought this was unthinkable act that I committed. and said so. Tens of people close to me has been told by others, so it is common knowlegde now. I come out of the closet because I think all Forums should adapt a policy to provide dignity and respect to its members. This is not typical of one of other forum , they all do the same. so this should be a START for a change .. A member should have right to ask to close his/her account and it must be close if a member wishes to close his or her account. There should be formal procedure as I outline in my solution to handle this type of situations and a fair and impartial method should be adapted. In no circumtances any remark be put in fromt of account, you do not know what damage you are doing to individual and his outside standing.This not a school and we are not children Any such act is between acusee, acuser and forum. it should not be public, all actions should be to protect acuser, acusee and forum Respect human being and settle matter privately with dignity for all three REQUEST: I don not wish Mehfil to explain and provide a response to sad facts. I want Mehfil to initiate a action committe to evaluate not only their procedures and users agreements and bring them to meet human dignity, values and respect, but work with other Forums too. and come up with a comprehensive package to secure personal human rights of members as well as right of a FORUM. within 3 months period and establish them in Urdu Mehfil. Each new user be sent a copy by email to keepit signed by Forum management. for his or her record Member should have right to close their account and account should become hidden from public eye. No more life time membership that cannot be cancelled Right to negotiate a graceful exit. There should not be any ill residual on member left after member a clean sweep should be used. Impossible, technically can not be done. That word is not in my vocabulary neither it should be any your. it is lot to ask these members to dedicate their life to a cause and their care taker tells them I have no means to do that . That is all I ask -------- Now I only call men brothers. I do not call girls “sisters”. They are simply “Naseema Jee After three month I am not recovered from the Shame put upon me by Mehfil. On the day BANNED disappeared, some one wrote, “I see that Tafseer Bhaiyaa is no longer BANNED in Mehfil”. I wrote back, “ Tafseer who, oh ... The ONE died the day one of his samajdar sister handed his death certificate to Admins, the one who was beating her chest proclaiming the victory, “ I am with women”. He wrote me back, so who is that person born out of Mehfil ashes I wrote “Syed Tafseer Ahmad” My writings are formal, they do not use “Tafseer”. I write under Syed Tafseer Ahmad I am no longer an adapted 60 years old man, who loved sisters. I wrote many time “There is no love greater than the love of a sister, It is even greater than mothers who 's love that comes from carrying child nine month, but a sister loves you no matter what”. These sisters have proved me wrong I wrote books about them how beautiful they are and how much they suffer on hand of man In the end I end up hurting one myself How sad.