جٹ صاحب
محفلین
CROCODILE TEARS
By Dr. S.M. Moin Qureshi
The Zameer Farosh have a field day
Those who think hypocrisy as an equivalent to politics are simpletons. In reality, hypocrisy is the hamzaad (familiar spirit) of politics. Both are concomitant; one can not survive without the active ‘cooperation’ of the other. Some even believe that hypocrisy is the beauty of politics or the fuel for the vehicle of politics. If a politician does what he says, then he could be anything like Justice Iftikhar Chaudhary, Dr. A.Q. Khan, Abdus Sattar Edhi, Ramzan Chheepa even Air Marshal Asghar Khan but, in no way, a politician.
Two friends were talking about politicians. One of them said, “It’s amazing about some of these politicians. How they can look so straight and be so crooked!” Agreeing with his friend, the other fellow added, “I know a few of them who are so crooked, they have to screw their socks on.”
News is floating around that cricket would be included in the Olympic Games. Acrobatics are already an integral and popular part of the Olympics. If somersault is declared an Olympic sport, one sure-shot gold medal is guaranteed for Pakistan every time. Our politicians will never disappoint us like the so-called sports superstars. Certain veteran politicians can be safely exported to foreign countries as coaches. The will ‘straighten’ the politics of those countries and bolster the economy of our country through their hard earned foreign exchange. As for the nation, it would continue to be cheated at will. That is why, no one can complain against the conduct of politicians. We are so much used to deceits and deceptions that if these elements are eliminated from the domain of politics, we would feel suffocated.
I can quote a plethora of examples of political somersaults of the recent past, but they are so well known to all that it would amount to sheer wastage of the readers’ time and the space of the newspaper. Even otherwise, this is just the intro, not the subject of the present column. Reverting to hypocrisy, it is generally believed that a hypocrite is one who says one thing and does the other. In the 21st century, we have a brand-new definition of hypocrisy. Now, a hypocrite is one who says one thing, makes us believe the other, and does nothing…except promises, announcements, oaths or, at the most, formation of committees, commissions and task forces. No wonder then, no one believes in the statement of a politician unless he issues a contradiction of it. After the contradiction, it becomes a patent truth.
“Isn’t it strange,” a reporter remarked to her editor after a press conference, “how politicians never say anything yet always insist they have been misquoted.”
Here comes the role of conscience. Conscience is that “opposition” residing in a remote corner of your mind which is not friendly, but fiery. If you manage to keep it alive, it will go on pinching you to behave honestly. This is the reason that most politicians, before entering the political area, make sure to keep their conscience away or sell it at reasonable price to some one who needs their vote in exchange of note. One, who refrains to do so, will not be able to do anything. Then there will be no difference between him and the Director of Metrological Department. A politician has to remain active and, as such, he gets rid of conscience without delay. Honesty becomes a do-do for him.
A politician was sitting at his campaign headquarters when the phone rang. He listened intently, and after a moment his face brightened. When he hung up, he immediately phoned his mother to tell her the good news.
“Ma,” he shouted, “the results are in. I won the election!”
“Honestly?”
The politician’s smiled faded. “Aw hell, ma, why bring that up at a time like this?”
In such daunting circumstance the news that Anjuman Zameer Faroshan, Pakistan (organization of conscience sellers) is working in Lahore, was very soothing. The devoted workers of the Anjuman have openly announced that their conscience is at sale and any one could have it for mutually agreed price. Once they have sold their conscience, they would do anything desired by the buyer. They have assured that, unlike other politicians of the country, when they are bought they would stay bought. They would work against the dictate of their conscience and the recognized norms of morality. (Others are also doing the same thing, but under the garb of nobility.)
At present, the headquarters of the Anjuman is in Lahore, but soon its branches would be established in all the four provincial capitals. It claims that more and more people are coming under its fold. There is no reason to doubt the veracity of this claim. It is a fact that our country has more Zameer Farosh (conscience sellers) than Sheer Farosh (milk sellers). The only difference is that Sheer Farosh are very much visible whereas no glasses have yet been invented to see the Zameer Farosh. Nonetheless, even today, the total membership of the Anjuman is more than the Nala-Lai brand Muslim League of Shaikh Rashid although he boasts that the roots of his pocket-size League are extended to the Awam (common men) of the four provinces. It is for sure that the roots of the Anjuman will extend to the Khawas (special men known as VIPs’).
Like any other political party of Pakistan, Iqtidar Khappay (power wanted) is the ultimate aim of the Anjuman Zameer Faroshan so that, in keeping with the provisions of its manifesto, it could constitutionalise hypocrisy in politics. This would be very much the same as the rational suggestion made by a renowned political figure that bribery should be legalized so that the Government treasury could benefit from it in the form of tax. The self-anointed and self-appointed Chairman of the Anjuman, Dr. Amber Shahzada, filed his nomination papers for the bye-election of a vacant seat of the Senate some time back. He went to the election office on a donkey’s back. He was an accompanied by a host of his supporters all flashing victory signs.
For some, the donkey ride presented an odd look. I ask them one simple question: “Why do the fake degrees, phony credit cards and apocryphal returns of their assets submitted by the legislators do not present an odd look to you?” The reply would be that these things have been taken for granted. Now, just take the case of returns. You will get the feeling that most of the Senators, MNA’s and MPA’s deserve zakat. Hence, if they devour the Bait-ul-maal funds, it should not raise anybody’s eyebrows. A former US President is reported to have said, “Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.” Which is the first? is not hard to guess.
In a society in which people have put several masks on their ugly faces, the voters did not like the straightforwardness of Dr. Amber Shehzada and he lost the election, but not the hope and courage. He believes in ‘Try again.’ The Anjuman deserves compliments for saying what others are scared of saying publicly. Who, among the present lot of politicians has the temerity of announcing that his conscience is available in ready stock for sale to the highest bidder?
Lahore: senate election candidate Dr. Amber Shahzada, Chairman,
Anjuman Zameer Faroshan, Pakistan, ride a donkey to the Election
Commission office to file his nomination paper.
By Dr. S.M. Moin Qureshi
The Zameer Farosh have a field day
Those who think hypocrisy as an equivalent to politics are simpletons. In reality, hypocrisy is the hamzaad (familiar spirit) of politics. Both are concomitant; one can not survive without the active ‘cooperation’ of the other. Some even believe that hypocrisy is the beauty of politics or the fuel for the vehicle of politics. If a politician does what he says, then he could be anything like Justice Iftikhar Chaudhary, Dr. A.Q. Khan, Abdus Sattar Edhi, Ramzan Chheepa even Air Marshal Asghar Khan but, in no way, a politician.
Two friends were talking about politicians. One of them said, “It’s amazing about some of these politicians. How they can look so straight and be so crooked!” Agreeing with his friend, the other fellow added, “I know a few of them who are so crooked, they have to screw their socks on.”
News is floating around that cricket would be included in the Olympic Games. Acrobatics are already an integral and popular part of the Olympics. If somersault is declared an Olympic sport, one sure-shot gold medal is guaranteed for Pakistan every time. Our politicians will never disappoint us like the so-called sports superstars. Certain veteran politicians can be safely exported to foreign countries as coaches. The will ‘straighten’ the politics of those countries and bolster the economy of our country through their hard earned foreign exchange. As for the nation, it would continue to be cheated at will. That is why, no one can complain against the conduct of politicians. We are so much used to deceits and deceptions that if these elements are eliminated from the domain of politics, we would feel suffocated.
I can quote a plethora of examples of political somersaults of the recent past, but they are so well known to all that it would amount to sheer wastage of the readers’ time and the space of the newspaper. Even otherwise, this is just the intro, not the subject of the present column. Reverting to hypocrisy, it is generally believed that a hypocrite is one who says one thing and does the other. In the 21st century, we have a brand-new definition of hypocrisy. Now, a hypocrite is one who says one thing, makes us believe the other, and does nothing…except promises, announcements, oaths or, at the most, formation of committees, commissions and task forces. No wonder then, no one believes in the statement of a politician unless he issues a contradiction of it. After the contradiction, it becomes a patent truth.
“Isn’t it strange,” a reporter remarked to her editor after a press conference, “how politicians never say anything yet always insist they have been misquoted.”
Here comes the role of conscience. Conscience is that “opposition” residing in a remote corner of your mind which is not friendly, but fiery. If you manage to keep it alive, it will go on pinching you to behave honestly. This is the reason that most politicians, before entering the political area, make sure to keep their conscience away or sell it at reasonable price to some one who needs their vote in exchange of note. One, who refrains to do so, will not be able to do anything. Then there will be no difference between him and the Director of Metrological Department. A politician has to remain active and, as such, he gets rid of conscience without delay. Honesty becomes a do-do for him.
A politician was sitting at his campaign headquarters when the phone rang. He listened intently, and after a moment his face brightened. When he hung up, he immediately phoned his mother to tell her the good news.
“Ma,” he shouted, “the results are in. I won the election!”
“Honestly?”
The politician’s smiled faded. “Aw hell, ma, why bring that up at a time like this?”
In such daunting circumstance the news that Anjuman Zameer Faroshan, Pakistan (organization of conscience sellers) is working in Lahore, was very soothing. The devoted workers of the Anjuman have openly announced that their conscience is at sale and any one could have it for mutually agreed price. Once they have sold their conscience, they would do anything desired by the buyer. They have assured that, unlike other politicians of the country, when they are bought they would stay bought. They would work against the dictate of their conscience and the recognized norms of morality. (Others are also doing the same thing, but under the garb of nobility.)
At present, the headquarters of the Anjuman is in Lahore, but soon its branches would be established in all the four provincial capitals. It claims that more and more people are coming under its fold. There is no reason to doubt the veracity of this claim. It is a fact that our country has more Zameer Farosh (conscience sellers) than Sheer Farosh (milk sellers). The only difference is that Sheer Farosh are very much visible whereas no glasses have yet been invented to see the Zameer Farosh. Nonetheless, even today, the total membership of the Anjuman is more than the Nala-Lai brand Muslim League of Shaikh Rashid although he boasts that the roots of his pocket-size League are extended to the Awam (common men) of the four provinces. It is for sure that the roots of the Anjuman will extend to the Khawas (special men known as VIPs’).
Like any other political party of Pakistan, Iqtidar Khappay (power wanted) is the ultimate aim of the Anjuman Zameer Faroshan so that, in keeping with the provisions of its manifesto, it could constitutionalise hypocrisy in politics. This would be very much the same as the rational suggestion made by a renowned political figure that bribery should be legalized so that the Government treasury could benefit from it in the form of tax. The self-anointed and self-appointed Chairman of the Anjuman, Dr. Amber Shahzada, filed his nomination papers for the bye-election of a vacant seat of the Senate some time back. He went to the election office on a donkey’s back. He was an accompanied by a host of his supporters all flashing victory signs.
For some, the donkey ride presented an odd look. I ask them one simple question: “Why do the fake degrees, phony credit cards and apocryphal returns of their assets submitted by the legislators do not present an odd look to you?” The reply would be that these things have been taken for granted. Now, just take the case of returns. You will get the feeling that most of the Senators, MNA’s and MPA’s deserve zakat. Hence, if they devour the Bait-ul-maal funds, it should not raise anybody’s eyebrows. A former US President is reported to have said, “Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.” Which is the first? is not hard to guess.
In a society in which people have put several masks on their ugly faces, the voters did not like the straightforwardness of Dr. Amber Shehzada and he lost the election, but not the hope and courage. He believes in ‘Try again.’ The Anjuman deserves compliments for saying what others are scared of saying publicly. Who, among the present lot of politicians has the temerity of announcing that his conscience is available in ready stock for sale to the highest bidder?
Lahore: senate election candidate Dr. Amber Shahzada, Chairman,
Anjuman Zameer Faroshan, Pakistan, ride a donkey to the Election
Commission office to file his nomination paper.