حماد
محفلین
Who am I? This is a question that would seem so easy to answer, but it maybe one of the most difficult questions anyone ever faces. I remember when Iwas around ten years old, I used to look at the faces of mum, dad and my two elder brothers and wonder who they really were. Walking down the street or the market, I used to see the faces of strangers and wonder if I had any relationship with them - isn't it true that all human beings share the same origin? Questions about the origin of human beings were not my only concern. Later,at the age of 12, I became very scared about the concept of life afterdeath. I was being given answers to my many questions by religion،but the concept of life after death was so scary to me that I was terrified by the subject. I was unable to eat or sleep properly, and at the announcement of someone's death,I would feel suffocated by the fear of looming death. I refused to share my fear with anybody; I tried to be even more religious in order to overcome my fear, but truly it became clear that it was the religion which frightened me the most with its talk of death and the wrath of God.
God? Who is He? What does He look like? Why is He so short tempered? Why is He bent upon throwing people into the fire? The religious teachings I was received at home, school and from my mosque were driving me absolutely crazy. Then one of my cousins died, and I contemplated trying to contact him in some way to ask him about what existed above the place where God lives.When I shared this suggestion with my brother, he looked at me very sternly.I was fed up with all the unanswered questions that had tormented and frightened me for so long. I wanted to be like my other cousins and friends who apparently had no such dilemmas or delusions about these aspects of their lives. Surprisingly, and happily, at the age of 14, this irrational fear of alienation alleviated to the point where I was able to start enjoying my life.
The questions remain there and do disturb me in my hours of loneliness.
I wish i could accept the ready made answers in this ready made world. The life would be so easy.
God? Who is He? What does He look like? Why is He so short tempered? Why is He bent upon throwing people into the fire? The religious teachings I was received at home, school and from my mosque were driving me absolutely crazy. Then one of my cousins died, and I contemplated trying to contact him in some way to ask him about what existed above the place where God lives.When I shared this suggestion with my brother, he looked at me very sternly.I was fed up with all the unanswered questions that had tormented and frightened me for so long. I wanted to be like my other cousins and friends who apparently had no such dilemmas or delusions about these aspects of their lives. Surprisingly, and happily, at the age of 14, this irrational fear of alienation alleviated to the point where I was able to start enjoying my life.
The questions remain there and do disturb me in my hours of loneliness.
I wish i could accept the ready made answers in this ready made world. The life would be so easy.