"OLDIES BEYOND OUR YEARS"

تعبیر · مئی 15، 2012

A group of seniors were sitting around talking about all their ailments.

"My arms have gotten so weak I can hardly lift this cup of coffee," said one.

"Yes, I know," said another. "My cataracts are so bad; I can't even

see my coffee."

"I couldn't even mark an "X" at election time, my hands are so

crippled," volunteered a third.

"What? Speak up! What? I can't hear you!"

"I can't turn my head because of the arthritis in my neck," said a

fourth, to which several nodded Weekly in agreement.

"My blood pressure pills make me so dizzy!" exclaimed another.

"I forget where I am, and where I'm going," said another.

"I guess that's the price we pay for getting old," winced an old man

as he slowly shook his head. The others nodded in agreement.

"Well, count your Blessings," said a woman cheerfully - - "thank God

we can all still drive"

تعبیر · مئی 15، 2012

Several days ago as I left the

club, I desperately gave myself a

personal TSA pat down. I was looking for my keys.

They were not in my pockets. A quick search in the club revealed nothing.

Suddenly I realized, I must have left them in the car. Frantically,

I headed for the parking lot. My wife has scolded me many times for leaving the keys in the ignition.

My theory is the ignition is the best place not to lose them. Her theory is that the car will be stolen.

As I burst through the doors of the club, I came to a terrifying conclusion. Her theory was right. The parking lot was empty.

I immediately called the police. I gave them my location, confessed that I had left my keys in the car, and that it had been stolen.

Then I made the most difficult call of all, "Honey," I stammered.

I always call her "honey" in times like these. "I left my keys in the car, and it has been stolen."

There was a period of silence. I thought the call had been dropped, but then I heard her voice. "Idiot", she barked, "I dropped you off!"

Now it was my time to be silent. Embarrassed, I said, "Well, come and get me."

She retorted, "I will, as soon as I convince this policeman I have not stolen your car."

Yep it's getting like that. The golden years.